(Saint) Simon’s Says…

By Diana Bosse for Loveland Beacon

LOVELAND, OH (March 7, 2024) – Alrighty folks…here’s a quiz to see if you are following my travels. What’s the best way to start a road trip?

Lunch at the Porch (Photo Diana Bosse)

Give up? It’s a good hearty breakfast!

Well, today we threw that rule right out the passenger side window. Why, you ask? Because we drove two hours south to Porch on St. Simons Island, Georgia for lunch. Guy Fieri introduced us to Porch on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives earlier this month and Steve’s mouth has been watering for some good fried chicken ever since. I reserved my caloric intake so I didn’t Google any breakfast joints (although we did stop for a Coke and sausage McMuffin at McDonalds, but it’s a chain so those calories don’t count).

Since most days we barely leave Sea Pines, let alone Hilton Head Island, we only have to fill up once every 3 weeks and since unleaded gas is currently hovering around the $3 mark, we can afford to drive a couple of hours now and then for a meal.

While we weren’t scheduled to meet our friends until noon, we left early so we could peruse the quaint town of St. Simons. One hour allowed us plenty of time because once you’ve seen one T-shirt shop, you’ve seen them all and we’d been up in the lighthouse previously.

The Porch (Photo Diana Bosse)

We walked over to Porch about 11:45 and were immediately greeted by a darling woman behind the counter. We told her we were waiting for friends and she handed us both two Styrofoam cups and said, “Ya’ll go ahead and get yourself somethin’ to drink while you wait”. They had orange Fanta so I threw my one soda per day rule out the window, too. Mike, Pam, Larry, Debbie and Emma arrived minutes later and the biggest dilemma we had was deciding what to order because everything looked and sounded amazing (I just pulled up Guy’s review and he use the word amazing no less than four times). 

Steve and I got two meals to split so we could try a bunch of stuff – The Motherclucker fried chicken sandwich with pimento cheese was so cluckin’ delicious, as were the chicken tenders. We ordered both “Novice” level on the Nashville Hot-O-Meter but my lips still tingled (in a good way). I prefer my mac ‘n cheese less creamy, although the pimento cheese grits made up for it. I stopped just short of licking the bowl. Collards were excellent. So were the crispy, honey-drizzled Brussel sprouts (who’s mouth is watering now?).

Steve and Diana had seen this lighthouse before (Photo Diana Bosse)

Everyone enjoyed their meal even though Mike failed to share his Big Daddy’s ‘Naner Pudding because he said it wasn’t big enough. Of course, I’ve never known Mike to share his dessert EVER regardless of size (and he always orders dessert). We still consider him a friend as he has a lot of other good qualities.

It was a great casual place and I fit right in with my overalls that I had selected to wear that morning. I’m no dummy. There is no waist in a pair of overalls so I didn’t have to worry about busting out of the elastic like I did on our last road trip.

Another great thing about Porch…and I may be mistaken…but if I recall from the episode of Diners, Drive-In’s and Dives, they hire former addicts to give them a second chance. All I know is that after eating at Porch, I’m now the one addicted.